Hashtag: Broke as a Joke

Money. I hate it. Everything about it. I remember the good ol days when I was young and oblivious to bills and spending. Though, I can respect and really empathize for my parents now. The. Struggle. Is. Real. I'm going to throw some truth your way..We just got over a pretty shitty month. With an unexpected turn in my career..it forced us to move further out than we would have liked and we took a rather significant hit in my paycheck. I think I am more annoyed about the fact that it threw my master plan to save off track rather than losing all that power. We were so close to being level on everything and being able to start really putting money aside for our emergency fund. Thank goodness for family. I mean, really. We wouldn't have been able to make it through without borrowing from a handful of family members. And we are only now just able to start paying people back. I hope one day I will have enough saved that I am able to do the same for others. It's a crappy thing. To have to ask to borrow money as an adult. No one wants to have to ask for money. It's embarrassing. All I can think about is how disappointed with myself that I didn't save more when I was making more. If I'm being honest here too, I have never been good with money. I love shopping. I love buying things that makes me fill whatever stupid hole or stressed out moment I'm having. I totally believe in Retail Therapy. Maybe that's why I've been working so hard at this minimalism thing. All I want is to want for nothing. If I want for nothing, then my impulse to buy things shrinks. But that's for another blog post... point is, my spending habits are terrible. Even when we have no money to spend. Normally, I spend a redonk amount of money on crafting supplies and books..but I've cut down on those for now. (again..that's for another blog post..) Right now my vices like caffeine and terrible eating habits are running my life. Running and ruining. I woke up with a new perspective this morning. The help that we got and minor bandaid we were able to find for ourselves has given us a chance to level out again. Because after this bandaid, there are no more bandaids. And we really have to learn to live with the new balance that I make. (granted, there might be a chance for hubs to get a job after the summer ((yay for more family help))) And boy does that new balance suck. What was that quote Dave Ramsey always says? "Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else." Rice and beans. Beans and rice for now. We are going to be able to do literally nothing. Every penny I make is going to go towards a bill. Our grocery budget is going to be super small and we are going to be able to save literally...pennies and dimes towards our emergency fund. But that's what happens when you aren't smart about your money when you are making money. And as I always say, "You live and you learn." I downloaded an app called Mint to help me monitor our bank account and budget. Boy oh boy was it an eye opener. It shows you how much money you spend on EVERYTHING based on your transactions. Needless to say, we need to stop eating out. I mean, we knew that anyways but having a visual helps. I'm hoping this will keep me accountable. I might throw in there that a couple of days ago, I allowed myself to go to Joann's because I wanted to make a bunch of earrings to sell to help fund my business, The Blooming Page. To make a really long story short, I walked out of Joann's feeling terrible that I had spent 20$ on supplies I didn't know if I wanted to make the time and space for. (Space is extremely relevant considering I am trying to reduce the amount of "stuff" in my life) I added to the chaos that was growing on my desk. And I was now out 20$. I returned the stuff yesterday. The impulse to spend is terrible. I feel like a crack head. It's stupid. I wanted to buy all the things at that store. ALL OF THE THINGS! And I am in no position to do so. It's like I'm creating a hole to fill. It's terrible. Anyways, I think I might have started going off about my minimalism journey and this blog is about money. Fact is, we have little of it now and we have to learn to be careful with it. Or we are going to drown. On that lovely note... -Angel