I was delighted to see a couple of new videos from you in my feed when I hopped on to the Youtubes and saw the one about a partner that is resistant.
I watched the video and saw that you were talking about my comment! Boy howdy! I continued to watch and wanted to thank you for elaborating more!
As I had mentioned on your video..I was talking about how my husband was the one to say, "Well hey, I like looking at this figurine...and it makes me happy to look at it...so doesn't that mean it has value?" And I stared at it and thought yeah...I suppose it does. But I say that about EVERYTHING I own.
One thing you should know is that I come from a family that loves to collect trinkets, and stuff that represents who we are and what we like. I ultimately found comfort in filling my space. You would see that when you walk into my mother's house and my grandmother's house. It's very comforting and very cozy. I have been like this for as long as I can remember and I swear I think I have passed some of those habits on to my husband!
I sent that comment to you that day, worried because years ago HE actually brought minimalism up to me and I scoffed saying that I don't want to live in an environment that feels empty and cold. He actually LOVES the way minimalism looks. And now he is pretty much trying to make excuses as to WHY we should keep some stuff. I wish I had listened to him in the first place but I also think that everyone needs to come to their own realizations on their OWN with some things. (I also fear part of me still worries that I might get that feeling of emptiness while starting this journey..but like you said, it is going to be a challenge.)
One thing I also wanted to thank you for was turning me onto The Minimalists. I watched one of their Seattle Q&As and I think that video struck the biggest chord for me. Something Joshua had said at the very beginning when he was talking about having their books for sale and laughing about how people always give them a hard time about it..he told the audience, "Look..you don't have to hold onto the book like a trophy."
That was it! Oh. My. God. That is what my stuff was! They were my trophies! (I probably should also mention that I have been a bookseller for more than 11 years and have acquired a rather large collection of books that I will read "someday". And have carried them across states TWO times and recently up three flights of stairs.) My books (and trinkets) were trophies from my job. The "I've been doing this for so long, look at my wonderful collection" trophies. Look at all the money I have invested in this collection that I have yet to start actually reading! Look at the different subjects that matter to me! Books on veganism, buddhism, Athiesm, Container Gardening, Space, Nature and even books on pregnancy and child rearing (AND IM NOT EVEN PREGNANT OR HAVE KIDS!), and art. (A lot of, "Just in case I find the time to get into this" books.) Oh and look at all the works of fiction I want to read and the gorgeous copies of this and that!
I can't even tell you the amount of money I was fine with dropping when it came to owning a gorgeous book. Half the books I own were because they were pretty...half because I wanted the information that was in them. And that is just the books. I am such a over sentimental person when it comes to my stuff. Every single thing I own is there because it reminds me of something or has characteristics that remind me of...well...me. Like I felt like if I didn't have these things that I wouldn't be able to identify who I am. Which is just ridiculous! I know the things I like..I know what I enjoy...why do I feel the need to keep reminders or show OTHERS when they come into our apartment, what matters most to me?
You had some pretty clear views on why you wanted to follow this lifestyle ..and I feel like at first I had a problem pinpointing why I wanted to. In the end I long to not be held down by my stuff. I want to have a better hold on my finances and not just throw money at stuff willy-nilly! I want to have a clear palette to map out what matters to me the most in life and how I can utilize it to find out what I ultimately want to do with my life. I also feel like once I can clear up my physical surroundings, it will have an effect on my mind and emotions. (I have terrible anger issues and have problems sleeping some times because my mind is always racing.) I hope that my mind with start to mirror the atmosphere I'm creating by becoming a minimalist.
I definitely will be asking myself a lot of those questions that you mentioned in the How to Decide....video.
Sorry if this letter was all over the place but my mind is going a million miles a minute when it comes to this stuff!!
Thank you for your videos and never think that they are "too long" because a lot of us enjoy the longer videos!!
PS YOUR DOG IS TOTES ADORBS!!! :)
Dear Angelica,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all I want to say how cool it is that we are having this conversation from across the world and as complete 'strangers'. I'm so grateful that you took the time to ponder, consider, comment, reflect and begin a dialogue on this subject. The question and comment that you left on my video really had me thinking all week and aside from the content of the dialogue itself I feel so excited that the internet can be such a wonderful community of individuals who want to support and grow through each other!
It's so interesting that you explained more about this question your husband posed to you. I had the impression that someone was giving you a hard time while you were the minimalist in the family. It's quite a different story when you mention that in fact your husband has a real minimalist mentality himself. It's quite beautiful to think that you have both influenced each other over the course of your marriage. You must both respect each others opinions and ideas very much. That makes this journey so so so much easier.
I think the most important thing on your minimalist journey is the way you reflect on your life. You are asking the 'why' questions and that is the most important step. You aren't just living on auto-pilot. What your house ends up looking like on a minimalist journey is pretty open to interpretation. The real issue is are you acting with intention. A lot of the concepts I find in 'minimalism' are the foundation of a buddhist life. It looks as though you are studying this kind of lifestyle as well.
Our attachment to things is most definitely a mirror to the thoughts, memories and emotions we are holding onto internally as well. By questioning what our physical world is made up of I believe we will at the same time address our inner world.
I'll keep coming back to your blog so that we can share in this journey together. While it may look physically different, I believe the inner journey is ultimately the same.
Thanks for this beautiful response and for your thoughtful reflections. It is truly inspiring and reminds me that this journey is so much more than just saving money or clearing some clutter.
All the best to you Angelica (and to your husband!),
Erica (the minimalist makeover)