Fit Test 2 Update!

Fit Test 2 Results! I finally got around to moving them to the actual chart from Insanity. It's awesome to see that even my second re reboot my numbers were better than the first time I was going to reboot. :)AWESOME! Probably take pics next fit test. Not enough time today. :)

Micro Update : Fit Test 1 Numbers

I've been doing a little cleaning today and I found my numbers on a piece of paper from my Insanity re-reboot. (Yeah, I'll post more on that later but I just wanted to get the numbers off the paper in case I accidentally threw the paper away.


FIT TEST 1 NUMBERS FROM JULY 1, 2013

Power Jacks: 42
Power Knees: 83
Power Jumps: 26
Globe Jumps: 10
Suicide Jumps: 14
Push Up Jacks: 16
Low Plank Oblique: 22

Anyways, I have so much to update on but no time at the moment to do it today.  Hopefully soon! (My target is Monday after I do my second Fit Test)

-Angel

Purse Clutter : the minimalist musings

So I thought y'all should know I did two big things today.

The first was I finally got to that box in the bathroom.  I knew once I started doing that box that suddenly I would start taking a harder look at what is actually in my bathroom.  It did indeed result in my rummaging through the cabinets...under the sink...through the drawers.

I narrowed my seven lotions down to one.  My body sprays from five to one and my perfumes (had to keep at least one for special occasions) from five to one.  I kept about half of the 12 mineral eye shadows and one nail polish and one top coat (out of the 24).  Everything else is going.  I had various things that were just misplaced. Like, my camera was in there along with other random knick knacks.

One thing I haven't gone through completely from that box is the smaller jewelry box I had in there.  I'll probably be going through and purging that next.  I've purged through my jewelry a million times so I am about down to the last of what I really like.

Nice and tidy!

It looks like a dumpster for clutter!

The next big thing I did was go through my purse. I dumped everything out onto the table to see exactly what I had in there. A huge notebook. Meeting Notes. Check book. A clearance book I bought to take pictures of.  Random receipts. Tea. Hair scissors. Some money. My schedule. Headphones. Lotion. Calendar. Pens.Wallet. Lipsticks. Medicines. Candy.
Actually this was pretty tame from what it usually is.  Normally I have an even larger amount of crap.  I'm a very "Just in Case/What If" kind of person. What if I have chapped lips? What if I cut myself? What if I need to reapply makeup?  What if I want to listen to this cd? What if I have a cold? Or cramps? Or I'm hungry? Or I need tape? Or I need to screw something together? What if someone needs 
batteries? 

Yeah...it's a bit crazy. I narrowed down the stuff to what I actually use the most. Redistributed the items that were in the wrong place in the first place (scissors, book, schedule) and threw out what I didn't even need (receipts, candy, trash).  I narrowed it down to these few items. (EDIT: I added my calendar back into the bag because I have no calendar at the moment. hahaha)  It's amazing how much lighter my bag is. 

The lone survivors.

My stash of purses and wallet.

 I began to question why I am even carrying a larger bag anyways.  I'm currently trying to decide if I just want to switch over to one of my smaller bags before I purge my purses.  I really do like the purse I am using now but I am also overly attached to four other ones I have.  Two are black seat belt purses..one small one medium sized and the other two are smaller ones that are nice for if I am going out with friends or out to a dinner and are the ones I paid the most money for ($20-$40).  I might end up just keeping those four and getting rid of the other thirteen purses I still own.  Yeah .. I think I've just now decided that's what I'm doing.  I'm sure over time I can convince myself to get rid of all but one of my purses in the end.  I think just keeping these four is a good compromise. :)

Current Purse.

It's nice seeing how much easier it is getting to let go of things that I continued to haul around with me and refused to let go of.  I think letting go of my books has shown me that deep, deep, deep, deep down I am really alright with letting some of this stuff go.  Speaking of selling books. I am getting ready to take the last of what I have to Camelback today.  This time I have to be there. At least it's the last few stragglers and the harder, more cherished ones have already been dealt with. Perhaps I can hold on squirting tears as I accept whatever offer they are going to give to me today.  We are also heading to the pawn shop to get rid of the box of electronics.  I still have a large amount of stuff to get through...but getting through that damn one box and my purses felt like a pretty big step in the right direction. :) I'm excited to start noticing all the money I'm going to save from not HAVING to buy another purse. ....Actually...a lot of the money my husband will save too ....he tends to treat me when I see one that I *have* to have. :)

More later I'm sure...

They're all gone......well...almost all of them..: the minimalist musings

So I think I am comfortable enough to express the issues I am having with my life on here. I know I am accountable for my actions and blogging what is going on with how I am feeling has been a nice outlet. I use to write in a journal every day.  I think if I ever do decide to extend my minimalism to my more personal items...my old journals would be the hardest to let go of.  But I will leave that for another post....

Anyways...I meant to start going somewhere with opening up with talking about being comfortable with my life issues. ..

Today I woke up still stressed. Yes, my books were still in the boxes in the living room. But this wasn't the reason why I was stressed.  I woke up and looked at my bank account.  $590. As soon as I saw that number I began to panic. That is not enough for rent. I began to look into payday loans  (which I actually learned are now illegal in Arizona) and once I learned I couldn't do that I looked at getting loans online. ((Confession time: Daniel and I use to use the hell out of payday loan places. Even after we knew that they are a terrible, terrible idea and a fantastic way to dig yourself into a deeper hole.)) Oh...I want to borrow $190 online? (That was all they would allow me since my credit is shit.) You are going to end up having to pay $700 by the end of it. Clearly that wasn't my answer. Nope...my answer to being $400 short on rent was to remove myself from the computer...go right back to bed..wake Daniel up...tell him I was stressed and we are short on rent..and bawl for the next two hours.

After crying for forever, I started frantically looking into trying to sell stuff on ebay...knowing that wouldn't even matter because there was only two days to come up with the money. I now had to rely on hoping that my books would bring in just a little money and that maybe we could go to the apartment management and beg to be given just a little more time.

I even prepared a box of things to pawn off. All my game systems...my favorite pool cue...some other various electronics..

This wasn't exactly how I imagined my journey to a minimalistic life would go. Selling frantically so that we could make rent.  Not exactly poetic or fulfilling.

I want to kind of cut in for a second and say that this little bump we are going through financially is only temporary.  We fell way behind with stuff when we moved and it hurt us even more when both my brother and my husband started off here jobless. When I said in my Facebook post that we wouldn't have been able to move if it weren't for help of family...I was completely serious. We wouldn't have had the money for a deposit for this place...or gas money to get there...or truck money. My brother and husband still are jobless and I am currently the only one bringing money in. And besides maybe two coffees total..I haven't been spending money on ANYTHING but the essentials. Gas and food.  I know once we get settled and can finally get our heads above water..I actually could probably pay for everything on my own...but again...we fell so far behind we are STILL trying to play catch up. I by no means want y'all to feel bad for us...this is just a medium to help me cope with stress.

ANYWAYS...back to my panic attack.  So, the only solution again, was to sell my books off and hope that it would bring us a little closer to what we needed for rent. (Mind you this is just RENT. Not even taking into account needing to come up with money for actual food, gas and maybe laundry soap.)  We just wanted to get rent taken care of.  And honestly, I had no idea as to how we are going to get closer to the total if we are still short.

So, all this was happening today. Which also happens to be the first day I start at my new HPB location in Mesa. New staff...new customers...new management team.

The plan was to drive out to work then have Daniel take the car back and take my books to my old store off to Camelback to sell.

So that's what we did. I drove out to work with Daniel.  The car ride was very quiet because I am sure both of us were trying to figure out a way to get more money.  In addition to that the sounds my car were making were stressing me out too. (She's been very chuggy lately. I'm sure she needs an oil change..)  We got to the Mesa store and just sat in the car for ten minutes. When I got out Daniel gave me a hug and told me to just work and try not to go in there looking stressed because they may feed off of it. And I knew  he was right.

So I put on as big of a smile as I could and marched into work. 9:30pm rolled around and Dan called the store.  He said, "Well, it's done." And I felt my heart fall into my stomach. (I know that sounds corny..but my love for my books was immense and there's nothing more to it.) He then asked, "Guess how much." And I said hopefully, "$150?" He said, "Higher.". "$200?"  "Higher." "Higher??? How much?" "$350."
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  Thank you!  Granted I knew those books were worth three times that amount..but I also know the business.  He also said we still had four boxes as home, plus the box of electronic to pawn. Such a damn relief!!! That means we won't have to come up with very much more to have rent. And that's all that I care about.  I will eat dirt for the next two damn weeks if I have to. I was in, as they would say, a glass case of emotion.  A huge weight felt like it was lifted off my shoulders but at the same time I knew that was it. My books were gone. It hit me even harder when I got home and saw the piles of boxes were gone. I saw the boxes that he was talking about and sighed. I even still have a little left on my shelves that I have been having second thoughts on. My Shel Silverstein books...my vegan cookbooks...a small handful of records...cds I still wanted to rip before selling..
I know some day I'll find strength to get rid of those as well..But I had enough emotions going on at the moment.

 So I still have probably a good four boxes left to sell. Then it would be time for focus on smaller things.  I mean, I actually still want to focus on cleaning my car out first. I think that is a healthy small step. Or maybe that damn box still sitting in my bathroom.

I am a little sad that I had to use they money towards something dumb like paying bills. It would have been nice to put it towards something greater. Like..oh..I dunno..a new car. But I am sure the more I stop spending the faster I will actually be able to save for a car that won't crap out on me. I am a certainly grateful that we got as much as we did for them.  I know there will be people that will appreciate them in the end.  I know I had some old coworkers that were already calling dibs on some things. And I KNOW they will be going to good homes.

It was funny because when I arrived to the store too..I walked over to see where I should put my stuff. I was looking for my stash shelf. FYI a "stash shelf" is something the company gives you as a holding place for books that you intend on buying. PS my shelf was always full. And I realized I probably won't even need a stash shelf anymore. Because I don't intend on buying anything. I really DON'T need one. And I don't even want one to tempt me. So I just use it to hold my purse.  It's a bizarre way of thinking. I'm not going to need to worry about buying things anymore. As if it were some sort of burden. Which I suppose it was. WEEEEEIIIIRRRRD. Maybe I can just find some sort of hook to at least hang my bag.  (THAT REMINDS ME! That made me think of all the other things I need to clean out and simplify.  Like what I carry in my purse...and even...what I keep on my phone! My phone keeps yelling at me saying that I am running out of space...which is just hilarious to me cause it describes the constant problem I have in my life! haha! )

All that being said, I am still incredibly excited to go through my things and see the process of elimination.  All of my items are going to be faced with the same question, "Do you hold value in my life? & Have I actually used you in the last month?" If not..it's gone.  Another thing I think will be tough to let go of are my purses. I am a purse fanatic. I LOVE my purses. Ugh....No....I don't want to think about that right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

I know I also mentioned wanting to get back into the health swing of things..and that is still coming. :) I just have to get over this small hump first and I'll get my groove back!  For now..I'm going to watch a movie and snuggle with my cats.

More later!

I was not prepared... : the minimalist musings

I am stressed. Stressed, stressed, stressed.

That one box I was suppose to do last night? Wasn't done. No. In fact, it is still sitting in my damn bathroom. Staring at me.  I thought I would put it off and just take on the project of packing my books up today and driving them over to the book store to sell.  Worst idea I have ever had ever.

I am motivated to makes changes..believe that. And I knew I would have a hard time packing my books up. I pulled them off the shelf one by one, apologizing to them...telling them they were going to find new homes..blah blah blah. And yes. It was emotionally draining. SOOO emotionally draining. I got about half way and stared at the empty shelves and I could feel it. I could feel my anxiety levels shoot through the damn roof. The  space. It got even worse when I finished the other two bookshelves. I stood there questioning myself. Is this what I really want? All this dead space? And I forget that this is not what I am creating. I am not making "dead space". I am creating room to grow myself. Though, I could feel my mood change the more I was packing up.  I felt myself get more and more anxious and stressed. I'm not kidding you when I say it feels like I am packing up my animals to take them to the pound. Knowing they may or may not live.

The plan was to take them to my store and sell them off.  But as the box amount grew I began to grow a little worried that they weren't going to fit in Bucket. (Bucket = my car) I went downstairs to assess the situation and that's about when I lost it.  I opened the back door and saw another box of stuff...and the whole back seat area had random crap everywhere. I shut the door and went to the trunk. Which made it even worse. MORE crap. Tools that Dan couldn't pawn off, ANOTHER box of books that I hadn't even brought in yet, stuff from the wedding and move.  I started feeling so overwhelmed.  I'm trying to PURGE and crap just keeps showing up!  I even caught myself filling up the spaces I had just created..with more stuff! Like..pictures and trinkets and crap. Like...I just can't help myself but to fill the space!! WTF is wrong with me?!

That's all I feel right now is overwhelmed. There's too much to go through. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and there as the damn box I said I was going to go through.  I knew I shouldn't have skipped the box and jumped right into my biggest weakness. 

You know what is so disturbing?? I found a small box of receipts from the books I bought from when i was at 113 in San Antonio. And I KNOW this wasn't all of them. Mind you I had only been at that store for like..a year and a few months.

the evidence of someone who has lost control

$757.58

$757.58 was the total after I added all those receipts together. SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY SEVEN. And again...that wasn't even all of them. I am positive there are some I had that I just threw away. And this is just ONE year at ONE store. I'm about to transfer to my SEVENTH store tomorrow and I have with this company for eleven years.  Now, granted a couple hundred dollars could have been like bonuses that they put on our card. Like..every anniversary they put money on your employee card. But the majority of those receipts had a VISA card as the payment type. I can't even imagine..if this is just a snippet of my purchasing habits...how much money I have thrown down the toilet. I am so incredibly furious at myself. All the money problems we have and I have this going on in the background because I "have to have it in my collection".  It's so weird. Now that I am thinking about it now.  Maybe I held onto these receipts for this exact moment. Maybe part of myself saw what I was doing to us financially and she hid it away for me to find and come to this epiphany.  Like... I knew I was going to be at a point in my life somewhere and this small box would play a significant part in it. Or maybe they are also some sort of sick trophy. Look at how much we have spent. Either way...it did it's job.

It's sad because when I go in to finally sell my stuff back. I am only get a small fraction of that. Bleh. That's what I get.

So. Along side with being anxious about selling my books off...creating space I am not at ease with having...being furious about the receipts..We are meeting up with some new friends tonight whom I've never met face to face..so my anxiety level is through the roof..OH AAAND I am starting at my new store tomorrow knowing that potentially all the staff already hates me.

I know the friend thing and store thing will all be good in the end. I'm excited to make new friends and play some games tonight and get in some good human to human interaction. I'm also excited to go into the store tomorrow and kick ass.

SO I leave you with that. The journey *is* hard. And I know it's only going to get harder the more I actually face my stuff and problems.

More later..I'm sure..

The first step : the minimalist musings

There it is. There is the first box of items I am purging. It may not seem like a lot but I love most of the stuff in this box. But then I look at it and think. Do I really need seven different kinda of lotions? even ones that might not even be vegan?! Why do I need seven different perfumes?I know I've gone at least two weeks without them..so why wouldn't i be able to get through the rest of my life with out them? Then I went around and took pictures if everything I have. The piles and piles of just stuff that will need to be purged. Brace yourself for the next pictures. These are all things that are making me feel claustrophobic. So tonight I will be going through that one box and tomorrow will be the harder one where I find new homes for my books. I'll keep you updated on how that goes. :)

Update time! Moving, Juicing, Raw Veganism, Minimalism and beyond!

Hey howdy hey!

Think now more than ever is a good time for an update, right?  First off with Insanity. Yup. Totally fell off.  The whole moving from San Antonio to Phoenix thing completely threw off my groove.  We pretty much had to pack our entire apartment up in one day and move it in one as well. All the heavy lifting and going up and down the stairs a million times left no energy for Insanity. But I want to get back on board!  I just need to re motivate myself! I'm going to restart in May and stick to it! I have no excuses after that!!

It's amazing the energy shift I have taken since I have stopped working out.  I am way more tired.  Sluggish.  My temper flares worse than normal. Bleh.

I have also been wanting to try a juice fast.  I recently watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead and it was amazing! The guy not only lost an amazing amount of weight but he had a new kick in his step and a new outlook on his lifestyle.  He had a bigger urge to take matters into his own hands when it came to getting healthy and staying healthy.  AND he helped another gentleman who was grossly overweight to get a handle on his weight. Watch it if you have an hour to spare. :)

I'm kind of on the fence about the fast though. I might wait until I can afford to buy a juicer. I might end up giving the Raw Vegan thing a shot again though.  But do like..five days Raw, two days cooked (still vegan) meals.  When I got all my books back I found all the Ani Phyo Raw (un)cookbooks that I had horded. That's good ol' Angel, "Maybe I should hold onto this...just in case I want to go back to Raw."  I'm excited to try out some of the recipes now. I've been watching some of her lessons on Youtube. I just love her!!  I know I need to kind of start shying away from the processed stuff as much as possible.

Speaking of hording.  Here's another big revelation I've had recently.  While I was searching for videos on Veganism on Youtube, I ran into a channel named  MinimalistMakeover .  She had a video about how minimalism changed her diet and I was curious about her other videos so I took a peek.

Pretty much what it came down to was I am getting rid of most of my stuff.  Anything that I haven't actually used in the last year ..gone. If I am looking to have a clear, healthy lifestyle then it can't just include what I choose to put into my body.

I ended up writing an open letter to this lady which you can check out in the link.  It pretty much gives the entire reason behind doing what I am doing.  She also have a blog you can check out HERE for those interested in following her journey. :)

Anyways, I am short on time for now but will continue to post updates and such. Now that we are finally in our new apartment I can start getting settled and work on the things I really want to work on. :)

Toodleoo for now!