Fit Test 2 Update!

Fit Test 2 Results! I finally got around to moving them to the actual chart from Insanity. It's awesome to see that even my second re reboot my numbers were better than the first time I was going to reboot. :)AWESOME! Probably take pics next fit test. Not enough time today. :)

Micro Update : Fit Test 1 Numbers

I've been doing a little cleaning today and I found my numbers on a piece of paper from my Insanity re-reboot. (Yeah, I'll post more on that later but I just wanted to get the numbers off the paper in case I accidentally threw the paper away.


FIT TEST 1 NUMBERS FROM JULY 1, 2013

Power Jacks: 42
Power Knees: 83
Power Jumps: 26
Globe Jumps: 10
Suicide Jumps: 14
Push Up Jacks: 16
Low Plank Oblique: 22

Anyways, I have so much to update on but no time at the moment to do it today.  Hopefully soon! (My target is Monday after I do my second Fit Test)

-Angel

Purse Clutter : the minimalist musings

So I thought y'all should know I did two big things today.

The first was I finally got to that box in the bathroom.  I knew once I started doing that box that suddenly I would start taking a harder look at what is actually in my bathroom.  It did indeed result in my rummaging through the cabinets...under the sink...through the drawers.

I narrowed my seven lotions down to one.  My body sprays from five to one and my perfumes (had to keep at least one for special occasions) from five to one.  I kept about half of the 12 mineral eye shadows and one nail polish and one top coat (out of the 24).  Everything else is going.  I had various things that were just misplaced. Like, my camera was in there along with other random knick knacks.

One thing I haven't gone through completely from that box is the smaller jewelry box I had in there.  I'll probably be going through and purging that next.  I've purged through my jewelry a million times so I am about down to the last of what I really like.

Nice and tidy!

It looks like a dumpster for clutter!

The next big thing I did was go through my purse. I dumped everything out onto the table to see exactly what I had in there. A huge notebook. Meeting Notes. Check book. A clearance book I bought to take pictures of.  Random receipts. Tea. Hair scissors. Some money. My schedule. Headphones. Lotion. Calendar. Pens.Wallet. Lipsticks. Medicines. Candy.
Actually this was pretty tame from what it usually is.  Normally I have an even larger amount of crap.  I'm a very "Just in Case/What If" kind of person. What if I have chapped lips? What if I cut myself? What if I need to reapply makeup?  What if I want to listen to this cd? What if I have a cold? Or cramps? Or I'm hungry? Or I need tape? Or I need to screw something together? What if someone needs 
batteries? 

Yeah...it's a bit crazy. I narrowed down the stuff to what I actually use the most. Redistributed the items that were in the wrong place in the first place (scissors, book, schedule) and threw out what I didn't even need (receipts, candy, trash).  I narrowed it down to these few items. (EDIT: I added my calendar back into the bag because I have no calendar at the moment. hahaha)  It's amazing how much lighter my bag is. 

The lone survivors.

My stash of purses and wallet.

 I began to question why I am even carrying a larger bag anyways.  I'm currently trying to decide if I just want to switch over to one of my smaller bags before I purge my purses.  I really do like the purse I am using now but I am also overly attached to four other ones I have.  Two are black seat belt purses..one small one medium sized and the other two are smaller ones that are nice for if I am going out with friends or out to a dinner and are the ones I paid the most money for ($20-$40).  I might end up just keeping those four and getting rid of the other thirteen purses I still own.  Yeah .. I think I've just now decided that's what I'm doing.  I'm sure over time I can convince myself to get rid of all but one of my purses in the end.  I think just keeping these four is a good compromise. :)

Current Purse.

It's nice seeing how much easier it is getting to let go of things that I continued to haul around with me and refused to let go of.  I think letting go of my books has shown me that deep, deep, deep, deep down I am really alright with letting some of this stuff go.  Speaking of selling books. I am getting ready to take the last of what I have to Camelback today.  This time I have to be there. At least it's the last few stragglers and the harder, more cherished ones have already been dealt with. Perhaps I can hold on squirting tears as I accept whatever offer they are going to give to me today.  We are also heading to the pawn shop to get rid of the box of electronics.  I still have a large amount of stuff to get through...but getting through that damn one box and my purses felt like a pretty big step in the right direction. :) I'm excited to start noticing all the money I'm going to save from not HAVING to buy another purse. ....Actually...a lot of the money my husband will save too ....he tends to treat me when I see one that I *have* to have. :)

More later I'm sure...

They're all gone......well...almost all of them..: the minimalist musings

So I think I am comfortable enough to express the issues I am having with my life on here. I know I am accountable for my actions and blogging what is going on with how I am feeling has been a nice outlet. I use to write in a journal every day.  I think if I ever do decide to extend my minimalism to my more personal items...my old journals would be the hardest to let go of.  But I will leave that for another post....

Anyways...I meant to start going somewhere with opening up with talking about being comfortable with my life issues. ..

Today I woke up still stressed. Yes, my books were still in the boxes in the living room. But this wasn't the reason why I was stressed.  I woke up and looked at my bank account.  $590. As soon as I saw that number I began to panic. That is not enough for rent. I began to look into payday loans  (which I actually learned are now illegal in Arizona) and once I learned I couldn't do that I looked at getting loans online. ((Confession time: Daniel and I use to use the hell out of payday loan places. Even after we knew that they are a terrible, terrible idea and a fantastic way to dig yourself into a deeper hole.)) Oh...I want to borrow $190 online? (That was all they would allow me since my credit is shit.) You are going to end up having to pay $700 by the end of it. Clearly that wasn't my answer. Nope...my answer to being $400 short on rent was to remove myself from the computer...go right back to bed..wake Daniel up...tell him I was stressed and we are short on rent..and bawl for the next two hours.

After crying for forever, I started frantically looking into trying to sell stuff on ebay...knowing that wouldn't even matter because there was only two days to come up with the money. I now had to rely on hoping that my books would bring in just a little money and that maybe we could go to the apartment management and beg to be given just a little more time.

I even prepared a box of things to pawn off. All my game systems...my favorite pool cue...some other various electronics..

This wasn't exactly how I imagined my journey to a minimalistic life would go. Selling frantically so that we could make rent.  Not exactly poetic or fulfilling.

I want to kind of cut in for a second and say that this little bump we are going through financially is only temporary.  We fell way behind with stuff when we moved and it hurt us even more when both my brother and my husband started off here jobless. When I said in my Facebook post that we wouldn't have been able to move if it weren't for help of family...I was completely serious. We wouldn't have had the money for a deposit for this place...or gas money to get there...or truck money. My brother and husband still are jobless and I am currently the only one bringing money in. And besides maybe two coffees total..I haven't been spending money on ANYTHING but the essentials. Gas and food.  I know once we get settled and can finally get our heads above water..I actually could probably pay for everything on my own...but again...we fell so far behind we are STILL trying to play catch up. I by no means want y'all to feel bad for us...this is just a medium to help me cope with stress.

ANYWAYS...back to my panic attack.  So, the only solution again, was to sell my books off and hope that it would bring us a little closer to what we needed for rent. (Mind you this is just RENT. Not even taking into account needing to come up with money for actual food, gas and maybe laundry soap.)  We just wanted to get rent taken care of.  And honestly, I had no idea as to how we are going to get closer to the total if we are still short.

So, all this was happening today. Which also happens to be the first day I start at my new HPB location in Mesa. New staff...new customers...new management team.

The plan was to drive out to work then have Daniel take the car back and take my books to my old store off to Camelback to sell.

So that's what we did. I drove out to work with Daniel.  The car ride was very quiet because I am sure both of us were trying to figure out a way to get more money.  In addition to that the sounds my car were making were stressing me out too. (She's been very chuggy lately. I'm sure she needs an oil change..)  We got to the Mesa store and just sat in the car for ten minutes. When I got out Daniel gave me a hug and told me to just work and try not to go in there looking stressed because they may feed off of it. And I knew  he was right.

So I put on as big of a smile as I could and marched into work. 9:30pm rolled around and Dan called the store.  He said, "Well, it's done." And I felt my heart fall into my stomach. (I know that sounds corny..but my love for my books was immense and there's nothing more to it.) He then asked, "Guess how much." And I said hopefully, "$150?" He said, "Higher.". "$200?"  "Higher." "Higher??? How much?" "$350."
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  Thank you!  Granted I knew those books were worth three times that amount..but I also know the business.  He also said we still had four boxes as home, plus the box of electronic to pawn. Such a damn relief!!! That means we won't have to come up with very much more to have rent. And that's all that I care about.  I will eat dirt for the next two damn weeks if I have to. I was in, as they would say, a glass case of emotion.  A huge weight felt like it was lifted off my shoulders but at the same time I knew that was it. My books were gone. It hit me even harder when I got home and saw the piles of boxes were gone. I saw the boxes that he was talking about and sighed. I even still have a little left on my shelves that I have been having second thoughts on. My Shel Silverstein books...my vegan cookbooks...a small handful of records...cds I still wanted to rip before selling..
I know some day I'll find strength to get rid of those as well..But I had enough emotions going on at the moment.

 So I still have probably a good four boxes left to sell. Then it would be time for focus on smaller things.  I mean, I actually still want to focus on cleaning my car out first. I think that is a healthy small step. Or maybe that damn box still sitting in my bathroom.

I am a little sad that I had to use they money towards something dumb like paying bills. It would have been nice to put it towards something greater. Like..oh..I dunno..a new car. But I am sure the more I stop spending the faster I will actually be able to save for a car that won't crap out on me. I am a certainly grateful that we got as much as we did for them.  I know there will be people that will appreciate them in the end.  I know I had some old coworkers that were already calling dibs on some things. And I KNOW they will be going to good homes.

It was funny because when I arrived to the store too..I walked over to see where I should put my stuff. I was looking for my stash shelf. FYI a "stash shelf" is something the company gives you as a holding place for books that you intend on buying. PS my shelf was always full. And I realized I probably won't even need a stash shelf anymore. Because I don't intend on buying anything. I really DON'T need one. And I don't even want one to tempt me. So I just use it to hold my purse.  It's a bizarre way of thinking. I'm not going to need to worry about buying things anymore. As if it were some sort of burden. Which I suppose it was. WEEEEEIIIIRRRRD. Maybe I can just find some sort of hook to at least hang my bag.  (THAT REMINDS ME! That made me think of all the other things I need to clean out and simplify.  Like what I carry in my purse...and even...what I keep on my phone! My phone keeps yelling at me saying that I am running out of space...which is just hilarious to me cause it describes the constant problem I have in my life! haha! )

All that being said, I am still incredibly excited to go through my things and see the process of elimination.  All of my items are going to be faced with the same question, "Do you hold value in my life? & Have I actually used you in the last month?" If not..it's gone.  Another thing I think will be tough to let go of are my purses. I am a purse fanatic. I LOVE my purses. Ugh....No....I don't want to think about that right now.

Maybe tomorrow.

I know I also mentioned wanting to get back into the health swing of things..and that is still coming. :) I just have to get over this small hump first and I'll get my groove back!  For now..I'm going to watch a movie and snuggle with my cats.

More later!

I was not prepared... : the minimalist musings

I am stressed. Stressed, stressed, stressed.

That one box I was suppose to do last night? Wasn't done. No. In fact, it is still sitting in my damn bathroom. Staring at me.  I thought I would put it off and just take on the project of packing my books up today and driving them over to the book store to sell.  Worst idea I have ever had ever.

I am motivated to makes changes..believe that. And I knew I would have a hard time packing my books up. I pulled them off the shelf one by one, apologizing to them...telling them they were going to find new homes..blah blah blah. And yes. It was emotionally draining. SOOO emotionally draining. I got about half way and stared at the empty shelves and I could feel it. I could feel my anxiety levels shoot through the damn roof. The  space. It got even worse when I finished the other two bookshelves. I stood there questioning myself. Is this what I really want? All this dead space? And I forget that this is not what I am creating. I am not making "dead space". I am creating room to grow myself. Though, I could feel my mood change the more I was packing up.  I felt myself get more and more anxious and stressed. I'm not kidding you when I say it feels like I am packing up my animals to take them to the pound. Knowing they may or may not live.

The plan was to take them to my store and sell them off.  But as the box amount grew I began to grow a little worried that they weren't going to fit in Bucket. (Bucket = my car) I went downstairs to assess the situation and that's about when I lost it.  I opened the back door and saw another box of stuff...and the whole back seat area had random crap everywhere. I shut the door and went to the trunk. Which made it even worse. MORE crap. Tools that Dan couldn't pawn off, ANOTHER box of books that I hadn't even brought in yet, stuff from the wedding and move.  I started feeling so overwhelmed.  I'm trying to PURGE and crap just keeps showing up!  I even caught myself filling up the spaces I had just created..with more stuff! Like..pictures and trinkets and crap. Like...I just can't help myself but to fill the space!! WTF is wrong with me?!

That's all I feel right now is overwhelmed. There's too much to go through. I went to the bathroom to take a shower and there as the damn box I said I was going to go through.  I knew I shouldn't have skipped the box and jumped right into my biggest weakness. 

You know what is so disturbing?? I found a small box of receipts from the books I bought from when i was at 113 in San Antonio. And I KNOW this wasn't all of them. Mind you I had only been at that store for like..a year and a few months.

the evidence of someone who has lost control

$757.58

$757.58 was the total after I added all those receipts together. SEVEN HUNDRED FIFTY SEVEN. And again...that wasn't even all of them. I am positive there are some I had that I just threw away. And this is just ONE year at ONE store. I'm about to transfer to my SEVENTH store tomorrow and I have with this company for eleven years.  Now, granted a couple hundred dollars could have been like bonuses that they put on our card. Like..every anniversary they put money on your employee card. But the majority of those receipts had a VISA card as the payment type. I can't even imagine..if this is just a snippet of my purchasing habits...how much money I have thrown down the toilet. I am so incredibly furious at myself. All the money problems we have and I have this going on in the background because I "have to have it in my collection".  It's so weird. Now that I am thinking about it now.  Maybe I held onto these receipts for this exact moment. Maybe part of myself saw what I was doing to us financially and she hid it away for me to find and come to this epiphany.  Like... I knew I was going to be at a point in my life somewhere and this small box would play a significant part in it. Or maybe they are also some sort of sick trophy. Look at how much we have spent. Either way...it did it's job.

It's sad because when I go in to finally sell my stuff back. I am only get a small fraction of that. Bleh. That's what I get.

So. Along side with being anxious about selling my books off...creating space I am not at ease with having...being furious about the receipts..We are meeting up with some new friends tonight whom I've never met face to face..so my anxiety level is through the roof..OH AAAND I am starting at my new store tomorrow knowing that potentially all the staff already hates me.

I know the friend thing and store thing will all be good in the end. I'm excited to make new friends and play some games tonight and get in some good human to human interaction. I'm also excited to go into the store tomorrow and kick ass.

SO I leave you with that. The journey *is* hard. And I know it's only going to get harder the more I actually face my stuff and problems.

More later..I'm sure..

The first step : the minimalist musings

There it is. There is the first box of items I am purging. It may not seem like a lot but I love most of the stuff in this box. But then I look at it and think. Do I really need seven different kinda of lotions? even ones that might not even be vegan?! Why do I need seven different perfumes?I know I've gone at least two weeks without them..so why wouldn't i be able to get through the rest of my life with out them? Then I went around and took pictures if everything I have. The piles and piles of just stuff that will need to be purged. Brace yourself for the next pictures. These are all things that are making me feel claustrophobic. So tonight I will be going through that one box and tomorrow will be the harder one where I find new homes for my books. I'll keep you updated on how that goes. :)

Update time! Moving, Juicing, Raw Veganism, Minimalism and beyond!

Hey howdy hey!

Think now more than ever is a good time for an update, right?  First off with Insanity. Yup. Totally fell off.  The whole moving from San Antonio to Phoenix thing completely threw off my groove.  We pretty much had to pack our entire apartment up in one day and move it in one as well. All the heavy lifting and going up and down the stairs a million times left no energy for Insanity. But I want to get back on board!  I just need to re motivate myself! I'm going to restart in May and stick to it! I have no excuses after that!!

It's amazing the energy shift I have taken since I have stopped working out.  I am way more tired.  Sluggish.  My temper flares worse than normal. Bleh.

I have also been wanting to try a juice fast.  I recently watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead and it was amazing! The guy not only lost an amazing amount of weight but he had a new kick in his step and a new outlook on his lifestyle.  He had a bigger urge to take matters into his own hands when it came to getting healthy and staying healthy.  AND he helped another gentleman who was grossly overweight to get a handle on his weight. Watch it if you have an hour to spare. :)

I'm kind of on the fence about the fast though. I might wait until I can afford to buy a juicer. I might end up giving the Raw Vegan thing a shot again though.  But do like..five days Raw, two days cooked (still vegan) meals.  When I got all my books back I found all the Ani Phyo Raw (un)cookbooks that I had horded. That's good ol' Angel, "Maybe I should hold onto this...just in case I want to go back to Raw."  I'm excited to try out some of the recipes now. I've been watching some of her lessons on Youtube. I just love her!!  I know I need to kind of start shying away from the processed stuff as much as possible.

Speaking of hording.  Here's another big revelation I've had recently.  While I was searching for videos on Veganism on Youtube, I ran into a channel named  MinimalistMakeover .  She had a video about how minimalism changed her diet and I was curious about her other videos so I took a peek.

Pretty much what it came down to was I am getting rid of most of my stuff.  Anything that I haven't actually used in the last year ..gone. If I am looking to have a clear, healthy lifestyle then it can't just include what I choose to put into my body.

I ended up writing an open letter to this lady which you can check out in the link.  It pretty much gives the entire reason behind doing what I am doing.  She also have a blog you can check out HERE for those interested in following her journey. :)

Anyways, I am short on time for now but will continue to post updates and such. Now that we are finally in our new apartment I can start getting settled and work on the things I really want to work on. :)

Toodleoo for now!

An Open Letter To: MinimalistMakeover

I was delighted to see a couple of new videos from you in my feed when I hopped on to the Youtubes and saw the one about a partner that is resistant.

I watched the video and saw that you were talking about my comment! Boy howdy! I continued to watch and wanted to thank you for elaborating more!

As I had mentioned on your video..I was talking about how my husband was the one to say, "Well hey, I like looking at this figurine...and it makes me happy to look at it...so doesn't that mean it has value?" And I stared at it and thought yeah...I suppose it does. But I say that about EVERYTHING I own.

One thing you should know is that I come from a family that loves to collect trinkets, and stuff that represents who we are and what we like.  I ultimately found comfort in filling my space. You would see that when you walk into my mother's house and my grandmother's house. It's very comforting and very cozy.  I have been like this for as long as I can remember and I swear I think I have passed some of those habits on to my husband!

I sent that comment to you that day, worried because years ago HE actually brought minimalism up to me and I scoffed saying that I don't want to live in an environment that feels empty and cold. He actually LOVES the way minimalism looks.  And now he is pretty much trying to make excuses as to WHY we should keep some stuff.  I wish I had listened to him in the first place but I also think that everyone needs to come to their own realizations on their OWN with some things.  (I also fear part of me still worries that I might get that feeling of emptiness while starting this journey..but like you said, it is going to be a challenge.)

One thing I also wanted to thank you for was turning me onto The Minimalists.  I watched one of their Seattle Q&As and I think that video struck the biggest chord for me. Something Joshua had said at the very beginning when he was talking about having their books for sale and laughing about how people always give them a hard time about it..he told the audience, "Look..you don't have to hold onto the book like a trophy."

That was it! Oh. My. God. That is what my stuff was! They were my trophies! (I probably should also mention that I have been a bookseller for more than 11 years and have acquired a rather large collection of books that I will read "someday". And have carried them across states TWO times and recently up three flights of stairs.)  My books (and trinkets) were trophies from my job. The "I've been doing this for so long, look at my wonderful collection" trophies. Look at all the money I have invested in this collection that I have yet to start actually reading! Look at the different subjects that matter to me! Books on veganism, buddhism, Athiesm, Container Gardening, Space, Nature and even books on pregnancy and child rearing (AND IM NOT EVEN PREGNANT OR HAVE KIDS!), and art. (A lot of, "Just in case I find the time to get into this" books.) Oh and look at all the works of fiction I want to read and the gorgeous copies of this and that! 

I can't even tell you the amount of money I was fine with dropping when it came to owning a gorgeous book.  Half the books I own were because they were pretty...half because I wanted the information that was in them.  And that is just the books. I am such a over sentimental person when it comes to my stuff. Every single thing I own is there because it reminds me of something or has characteristics that remind me of...well...me. Like I felt like if I didn't have these things that I wouldn't be able to identify who I am.  Which is just ridiculous!  I know the things I like..I know what I enjoy...why do I feel the need to keep reminders or show OTHERS when they come into our apartment, what matters most to me?

You had some pretty clear views on why you wanted to follow this lifestyle ..and I feel like at first I had a problem pinpointing why I wanted to.  In the end I long to not be held down by my stuff.  I want to have a better hold on my finances and not just throw money at stuff willy-nilly! I want to have a clear palette to map out what matters to me the most in life and how I can utilize it to find out what I ultimately want to do with my life.   I also feel like once I can clear up my physical surroundings, it will have an effect on my mind and emotions.  (I have terrible anger issues and have problems sleeping some times because my mind is always racing.)  I hope that my mind with start to mirror the atmosphere I'm creating by becoming a minimalist. 

I definitely will be asking myself a lot of those questions that you mentioned in the How to Decide....video.

Sorry if this letter was all over the place but my mind is going a million miles a minute when it comes to this stuff!!

Thank you for your videos and never think that they are "too long" because a lot of us enjoy the longer videos!!

PS YOUR DOG IS TOTES ADORBS!!! :)

Day Eight - Return to Insanity

Welp!  Totally didn't do Cardio Abs yesterday on my day off like I said I might. Ah well. It was probably for the best. My body really did need the rest.  I did a bad thing and totally went to bed late even after I knew I needed to actually get up a little earlier than normal and after I went to bed, I had the hardest time sleeping because I had too much going through my brain.

It's amazing how sleep affects the body's ability to do ANYTHING.  I was exhausted this morning and it make the workout ten times harder than it normally is.  Note to self: GET PLENTY OF SLEEP! 

On the plus side I do seem to notice I'm slimming down slightly. Just ever so slightly. It's pretty exciting to know I can already see changes and I am not even two weeks in.

Think I'll keep this short and sweet.

Thanks for reading!

Day Six - Return to Insanity

Alright! Got through week one!  The last workout was particularly rough.  My body felt pretty weak and achy and I took a number of rests. I love the feeling of sweating though.  Sweating makes me feel like I am actually working. I was thinking of doing the Cardio Abs on my off day since it is only 15mins long.  And that the biggest area I want to focus on.

For those who were curious as to how the schedule goes here it is:

I still need to improve my eating habits. It's hard when you don't have money. I am pretty much eating anything anyone puts in front of me. (As long as it is vegan of course.)  All of our money is going towards saving for the big move from San Antonio to Phoenix.

I did however buy a new book though (less than 5$ for me so it wasn't super bad ;3 ) .  Ani's 15-Day Fat Blast.  This chick puts out a ton of amazing raw food cookbooks (some I've owned and passed on by now). I think I'm going to try it after we get back from San Antonio. That or start it when I start month two to kind of kick everything into high gear. It's pretty much a mostly raw food diet but it only lasts 15 days.  Which I have been raw vegan before and that's about as long as I could last before I just wanted a nice cooked meal.
Actually, I KNOW I'm going to do this 15 Day Fat Blast thingy.  I especially love it cause she has all 15 day's meals planned out for everyday.  And that's what I love most about it is the structure.  I'll report more on this when I actually start but so far it's a pretty good read.  I just know I'm also going to have to start saving up for a really, really good blender.  I would especially love a Vitamix but I need an arm and a leg to buy that.

Anyways, I am off to work to finish my last day before my "movecation". Probably going to be a looooong day.

Until next time,

Day Four - Return to Insanity

Hey-o!

Didn't want to forget an update! Today was especially rough.  I have been weening myself off of caffeine and that means no coffee for opening shifts.   I usually buy a cup from Starbucks to reward myself for getting up in the morning for opening shifts so not only was I caffeine deprived but I was completely sore from the following day.

I knew I still had to do my workout after work (which has to be one of the hardest things if you don't wake up early and do it).  All I could think about as I am driving home is, "nopenopenopenope nope. nope. NOPE nope. don't want to do it. Nope. I'm tired. Nope." At one point I got home and plopped on my bed (like I normally do after I get home from  opening shifts) and said, "I don't wanna. I want a nap. This bed is comfortable. Nope. NO." At one point Daniel came by to lay next to me...taunting me. (We usually nap together) But he knew I wanted to do my work out even if I didn't want to at all.  So...he started poking me and shaking me, "GIT UP". So I flopped out of bed and stomped down stairs to do my Insanity. And what do you know, it was my lucky day:  CARDIO RECOVERY! The timing was perfect. It was enough exercise to keep my movin but it didn't burn me out and make me hate my life.

As a side note during Cardio Recovery when we'd be doing serious quad work I would put my hand on my thigh and FEEL heat radiating off of it. It was crazy!

That's the thing about Insanity...even if you really, REALLY don't want to do it. You just have to.

:)

Day Three - Return to Insanity

8:59am - Up a lot earlier than I normally am.  AND I woke up half hour before my alarm went off. I forgot that when I work out my body's clock changes and wants me to go to bed early and wake up early. Which totally isn't me. I normally stay up pretty darn late and wake up as late as I can.

My body started aching when we put a movie in last night around 8. We watched Silent Hill Revelations which was meh. I wanted to change it to Life of Pi 20 minutes in cause I was bored but Daniel wanted to watch the whole thing. Ah well. Don't really know what I was expecting with it.

Anywho..had a rough time sleeping last night.  Even after I had some Sleepy Time Tea. My body was super achy and I usually move around a lot when I sleep so every time I did, it hurt.

That's usually how it goes though. For the first week you are really, really sore. It passes the more you do it though.  The soreness is replaced with a new sense of strength. It's hard to explain.  At least that is the way my body works. I'm pretty lucky that my body will quickly adapt to physical activity.

I forgot to mention in yesterday's post that after my first real workout..Plyometric Cardio Circuit..I almost actually puked. I had been proud to say that throughout my first run..I never puked.  I had to stop the video with only EIGHT minutes left to run to use the bathroom which turned into me positioning myself to get ready to puke. You know that flushed, prickly feeling you get right before it? Yeah..
BUT
I tried something different this time. I changed positions on the floor and just sat there and closed my eyes and started to attempt to meditate. That's right...right on the bathroom floor. I cleared my mind of everything I was thinking about. The workout. Bills. Stress. Throwing up. Especially throwing up. Took deep breaths and just sat there for a few minutes. Eventually the feeling completely went away and I was standing and ready to finish my last eight minutes. And I did!  :) I know it sounds a little silly but it worked.

Day One & Two - Return to Insanity

Howdy!  And welcome to my journey to a healthier lifestyle!

I've named it, "Return to Insanity" because that's exactly what I'm doing. Returning to Insanity. Ever since my husband came back from Texas I've pretty much let myself go back into my old habits. Before then I had already started trying to get on the healthy train.

I'll start off with explaining my "old habits".  I call her Bad Angel.

See...Bad Angel doesn't like exercise. Or do any sort of physical activity for that matter.  The most physical activity I get is when I am actually at work slinging books. Other than that...the first thing I do when I get home is jump on my video games and veg out.  Not only does Bad Angel hate physical activity..but she also loves to eat TERRIBLY.  I'm vegan AND I'm a super picky eater which makes it even harder for me to find things that I really like.  I am not shy about explaining that I am a bad vegan. Not bad in a sense that I cheat..just bad that I loooove the processed, easy-way-out food.  You know...the kind that doesn't take time and effort to put into.  So you pair that up with being super lazy and complete disregard for nutrition or what I'm putting into my body...is going to make Bad Angel...Bad and Fat Angel.  On top of all of that I don't take my vitamins like a good vegan should.  Yup...that's right. No B12, Iron, Omega-3, all that stuff that I REALLY need to keep up with to keep my energy and general well being up...I just don't do. Why? I haven't the slightest idea why. There really is no reason for me to not take them. I mean, I even *have* the vitamins...just sitting there...staring at me.   SO ...not only am I a Bad and Fat Angel..but a Bad, Fat, Unhealthy Angel.  All rolled into one bite sized, emotionally angry woman.

OH

Well..at one point Bad Angel saw a picture that had been taken of her..and she was mortified with what she saw. /endthirdpersontalking

MY

(Mind you..this is not knocking the moment at all. I am extremely grateful to Tish for taking pictures during this important time in my life. Nothing but love from me <3)  WHO is this person though?!   When did I blow up? I look so swollen! And I'm never dying my hair a crazy color again if I am not maintaining it! Bleh! ANYWAYS! I actually didn't see this pictures (that which were taken around Oct 2011) until the next year. After I saw them I pretty much told myself that was IT.  Too much food. Too much drinking. Too much doing nothing is what caused that.

GOD.

More Flabby Unhappiness

Unhappy

But I know myself. I have to do something that I like or I'm not going to do anything at all. I told myself, when WiiFit comes it..that's when I will start.  It's games and working out!  Months passed (yes...months..) and finally WiiFit came into our store and I purchased it.  The first time I stepped on it was May 16, 2012 I did 23 minutes of "working out" and did my first WiiFit Body Test.  And I was immediately disappointed to see that it told me I was 154lbs. And that I was in the Overweight category. Fan-freakin-tastic.  But I had already said if I get WiiFit I need to stick to it.  So I did. I paired WiiFit up with walking up and down my stairs (an inspiration from my coworker, Mario, who had been doing that and started shedding weight off.) and slowly but surely I started losing the weight.  I did this up until July 15, 2012 where my scale told my I now weighed 140lbs. I was slowly but surely starting to feel great. At one point though I became a desperate and started taking fat burning pills along with what I was doing.  Though it felt like they worked I eventually cut them out completely cause it didn't feel right. It felt as though I was cheating. So I switched to drinking a lot of green tea as a natural fat burner. At the end of July and with my wedding then getting closer..I know I needed to push myself.  And there was only one way I wanted to do it. Insanity. One of my friends, Kerchie,  had purchased Insanity and kept telling me how great it was.  And she looked great as she was doing it. But it scared the hell out of me. It looked like too much hard work. Way more moving than I wanted to do. But the more I thought about how I wanted to lose weight and look great on my wedding day...that was enough motivation for me. So I bite the damn bullet and bought Insanity and started on August 8, 2012 at 141lbs.

Apologize for the bad pics

Before Insanity

 And I kept to it. I dedicated myself to really trying and not giving up. I never skipped a day..woke up early if I had to (because I did it at my mom's house thinking the people below us probably wouldn't appreciate me stomping around), gave 100% even when EVERY time halfway through the work out all I could think is "I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE..YOU CANT MAKE ME..I JUST WANT TO SIT". Even when I could have an excuse to stop whether it be my terrible wrist giving me issues or my knees saying, "HA!NOTHX" or my back feeling like it was going through torture..I stuck it out and pushed on and adjusted. Bad Angel was fighting hardcore with Get-Fit-or-Get-Out Angel. Which..at that point is what I had become. I had become super motivated and even started added running on my "off days"...though later on I had to stop that cause I was pushing my knees too much. I was tracking my progress as often as I could. Though I wish I had taken more pictures through my journey.

Red Faced on Day 4

Day 2 Completed!

 I tried eating better and drinking more water and completely cut soda and energy drinks out.

I even came up with a salad that I fell in love with!  And to be honest..I wasn't see the weight fall off super fast like I thought I would. BUT I did see tone. Muscles in places I didn't know I had them and that held me over from being disappointed. I went to the Beach Body forums and read stories of peoples success and it motivated me more.  I felt like if these people could do it I certainly could.

Like I said, I stuck with it until the day after my wedding. I even did Insanity ON my wedding day to get rid of the jitters.  And boy did it help :) I felt as good as I have ever felt about myself AND I WASNT EVEN DONE WITH MONTH TWO!  After my wedding day I was off and on with Month Two.

awwww yeah! Progress!

It burned so good! But after Daniel went back to San Antonio I was in a glass case of emotion and did it when I felt like it. Some days I would be motivated..some days I just wanted to be left alone and cry cause I missed my man. Sad to say that I did not get to complete Insanity all the way. I was about one week or even less than that away and I completely fell off. I stopped completely and decided I didn't need to / want to do it anymore.

 But it is a new day! 

  We are at present day now and I decided that April is going to be my month. So many great things are happening.. We are getting into a new place, being reunited with my bro/books/animals, reopening my shop..so many great things...so getting fit and healthy again was going to be on my list of stuff I am actually going to do.  I want to have a hot bod for summer time and want to feel great about myself again. No more messing around!

So what exactly is Insanity? Insanity is a 60 day, at home, body conditioning program where all you need is your body. No weights, no equipment. Just dedication. They send you a million dvds and you follow a calendar that has a workout for everyday.  It's divided between two months with a "recovery" week in between. Through out the whole thing they give you dietary suggestions but I don't really follow it cause it's not very vegan friendly. I sort of follow my own meal plans but I do not kill myself if I eat one  bad thing every now and then. I'm going to especially work hard on not being so hard on myself if i want a treat. ANYWAYS... I decided I want to track my progress officially and keep some what of a journal this time around.  I also want to serve as motivation for those who were thinking about doing Insanity or getting into shape. Cause I know they are out there.

I will be posting pictures, measurements and results for my test every time I have a Fit Test day. And after much reluctance ..I decided that I am finally okay with posting these...if anything..it will force me to keep going and keep me accountable.

You can see my dreaded belly. That's from me sitting on my butt playing video games ALL THE TIME!! And you can see my flat butt as a direct result from that as well. ^_^

Lots of room for improvement!

So as far as this blog goes, I do indeed want to log my Insanity journey but I also want it to include other parts of my life...from crafting, veganism, ear stretching, anger issues, video gaming, family, book slinging and so forth!

I feel like I have done enough rambling for now. I look forward to posting and letting y'all know what I'm going through and hopefully inspire some of you!  :) Feel free to leave comments, suggestions, advice, motivation and/or whatever!

 Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!